Parent's Guide to Supporting Anxious Kids and Teens

As the warmer weather begins to peek through in New York City, many families are starting to think about summer plans. While summer brings exciting possibilities - family trips, celebrations, and well-deserved relaxation - it can also feel overwhelming for children and teens who struggle with anxiety.

For anxious kids, the shift from structured school days to open-ended summer time can actually increase worry rather than reduce it. When they don't know what to expect, anxiety and avoidance have more room to grow, and they miss opportunities to practice the coping skills they've been developing. The good news? A little thoughtful planning can help your child feel more secure while still embracing the freedom that makes summer special.

Why Structure Matters for Anxious Kids

Think of structure as a container that holds your child's day. It doesn't have to be rigid or jam-packed with activities, but having some predictable elements—especially around sleep, meals, and daily routines—gives anxious minds something solid to anchor to. This foundation actually creates more space for spontaneity and fun, not less.

Structure is especially important because anxiety thrives on uncertainty. When anxious kids know what to expect, their nervous system can relax, making it easier for them to be present and enjoy activities rather than constantly scanning for what might go wrong.

Maintaining consistent sleep schedules is particularly important. When kids stay up late and sleep in unpredictably, it can throw off their mood regulation and make anxiety symptoms more intense. You don't need military precision, but keeping bedtimes and wake times regular (ideally  within an hour of their school schedule) can make a real difference.

Three Ways to Create Meaningful Summer Structure

1. Turn Free Time Into Growth Time

Summer offers a unique opportunity to focus on challenges your child has been working on throughout the year. Maybe they've been avoiding certain situations due to anxiety, or perhaps there are skills they'd like to develop. With fewer academic pressures, summer can be the perfect time for focused growth.

The key is to approach this gently—think "practice opportunities" rather than "fixing problems." When kids feel supported rather than pressured, they're more likely to engage and make real progress.

Consider looking into therapy intensives or specialized programs that align with your child's needs. Here at Helm, we offer summer intensives tailored to your family’s unique needs, and we are also happy to connect you with groups if that’s a better fit for your needs! 

Summer activities or camps centered around your child's interests can be equally valuable. Whether it's art, swimming, theater, or nature exploration, engaging in activities they're passionate about naturally builds confidence and provides a sense of accomplishment. The key is finding something that excites them, not just keeps them busy. Is your child excited by nothing except screens? Lower the bar and choose the activity that they enjoy just a little bit. 

2. Prioritize Time Outdoors

In our screen-saturated world, summer is the perfect time to reconnect with the outdoors. New York City offers incredible opportunities right at your doorstep - from the vast expanses of Prospect and Central Parks to the peaceful High Line, from neighborhood playgrounds to waterfront walks in Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Outdoor time isn't just about fresh air and exercise (though those are wonderful benefits). When kids play outside, they naturally use their imagination, practice social skills with peers, take risks that strengthen their bravery, and learn to problem-solve independently. These are the same skills they develop during school recess, so maintaining outdoor play during summer helps prevent the loss of these important abilities.

Try exploring a new park each week, or become regulars at your local playground where your child can build friendships with neighborhood kids. Even a daily walk around the block can provide structure and a chance to decompress.

3. Connect With Your Community

For teens especially, summer can be an ideal time to explore volunteer opportunities that align with their interests. Whether it's helping at a local animal shelter, assisting with community gardens, or tutoring younger children, volunteering helps teens develop empathy, gain work experience, and feel connected to something larger than themselves.

These experiences can be particularly powerful for anxious teens, who sometimes struggle with feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty about their future. Contributing to their community in meaningful ways can provide a sense of purpose and boost self-confidence.

Can’t find a structured volunteer opportunity? It doesn’t have to be resume-building to be strength-building! This can be informal, like helping out a relative, doing something nice for a neighbor, or improving something in the community. 

Finding the Right Balance

Remember, the goal isn't to recreate the intensity of the school year. Instead, you're creating a gentle framework that provides security while leaving room for the relaxation and exploration that make summer special. Some days might be more structured, others more spontaneous - and that's perfectly fine.

Start by identifying what your child needs most. Is it more social interaction? Time to work on specific fears? Creative outlets? Physical activity? Once you understand their unique needs, you can build a summer plan that feels supportive rather than overwhelming.

Summer can be a time of growth, connection, and joy for anxious kids and teens. With a little planning and a lot of understanding, you can help your child navigate the season with confidence while still embracing all the magic that summer has to offer.

Planning your child's summer support? Our team specializes in evidence-based treatment for anxiety and OCD in children and teens. We're here to help you create strategies that work for your family.

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